The General Idea

Plot synopsis from IMDB: A sumptuous and sensual tale of intrigue, romance and betrayal set against the backdrop of a defining moment in European history: two beautiful sisters, Anne and Mary Boleyn, driven by their family’s blind ambition, compete for the love of the handsome and passionate King Henry VIII.

The Good

Scarlett Johnansson and Natalie Portman were both delightful in this film and I enjoyed watching them squabble as sisters. The chemistry between the two was great and there back on forth dialog made for some of the film’s best moments. I will not lie, with all the sisterly hugging and kissing It took some effort not to let the mind wander to thoughts of strap-on usurping. Natalie Portman uses her eyes to great effect in the film and gives some powerful “come hither” looks that could make the thickest of pants turn to vapor.

I usually hate films like this, but my interest was kept the entire time. The dialog was snappy and I was interested in the unraveling rivalry between the very different Boleyn girls. I enjoyed the script very much and the story of Anne is a powerful one. Using her feminine wiles she became queen and set in motion the creation of the Anglican Church; forever separating England’s ties with the Vatican. This girl used her vagina as a weapon, and history is a testament to its power! (My crotch may be able to get me a meager sandwich on the best of days.)

The film also tickled my fancy with multiple beheadings; and they always makes for fantastic cinema. This would usually be considered a spoiler but because the events are based on history - you already knew the outcome. (If you skipped that class, everyone lives; I was just yanking your chain).

The Bad

As much as I enjoyed the story, for a period piece I never felt immersed into the film. I think this was largely do to the editing. They had a lot of ground to cover but often we skip too quickly from one shot to the next and the film seemed disjointed and hurried. This was a shame, because the location shots and costumes were very beautiful and the attention to detail was outstanding. If we were able to spend more time in each shot and get a feel for the place, the film would have been much more endearing and immersive.

Eric Bana as Henry the 8th gets to have some pretty outstanding relations in this movie. We have love scenes with both Scarlett and Natalie; and they are utter garbage. The love scenes are brushed over quickly as an afterthought, and we see more skin from soap commercials. This was an opportunity to have two of Hollywood’s hottest starlets compete for greatest on screen sex scene - and it was totally blown. I am aghast on many levels why this opportunity was not taken advantage of. It was appropriate to the story and if you are going to do a love scene anyway, I would think it wise to make it steamy, delicious, and memorable.

Overall

This was a surprisingly enjoyable film for me. An extra 20 minutes would have actually strengthened the feel of the story and made for a more atmospheric experience. I never think a film should go longer, but here - it may have been appropriate. Natalie and Scarlett did a great job working together and I hope we get to see them do so again. Out of 10, I would give this film a 6.

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