I’m going to keep this short and sweet, because I want to limit the amount of time I’ve already wasted on this train wreck of a trash movie. Alvin and the Chipmunks SUCKS. It’s awful. It’s painful. I regret having already made my “10 Worst Films of 2007″ list, because I’m pretty sure it would have made it on there.

And to those who will undoubtedly say to me “BUT JOHN, YOU DON’T GET IT, IT’S A KIDS MOVIE”, I say… so what??? A bad movie is a bad movie. Let’s call a spade a spade here. For young children, you could put 5 fat guys in purple marshmallow costume making fart noises for 90 minutes and kids would love it. Kids aren’t hard to please. But but guess what, The Incredibles was a kids movie too… and it was GREAT.

Toy Story was a kids movie, and it was GREAT. Shrek was a kids movie, and it was GREAT. Finding Nemo was a kids movie, and it was GREAT. YOU CAN MAKE A KIDS MOVIE THAT’S ACTUALLY GOOD. What Alvin and the Chipmunks did on the screen has no excuse at all.

I will give the devil his due however. The Chipmunks themselves are very cute. But that’s not enough. Good lord even Jason Lee sucked eggs in this movie… he was horrible (and I love the guy).

Horrible movie.

I’m done writing about it. 1.5 out of 10

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